Leaving the marriage when you think you cannot afford it

An unfortunate situation that we see all too often. The marriage has broken down, and one of the spouses, let’s assume in this case, the wife, wants to leave the marriage because her husband is abusing her. Still, she cannot afford to divorce him.

This is a couple who live a high-end lifestyle. They have children and a beautiful home, perhaps also a summer home.

Yet the relationship has crumbled into pieces, and she can no longer bear it. However, there is no possible way she can leave him because, over the years, she has become utterly dependent on him financially.

A common scenario

First, it is crucial to know that you are not alone. This happens daily in every city and state across America and every socioeconomic class. While your challenges might seem unique, you have hope, and it is essential to focus on that.

Domestic violence

If you are in a situation where you or your children are victims of domestic violence, you need to make a plan. This is where having an attorney who understands can be helpful.

However, it would help if you were careful because you do not know how your spouse will react and do not want to place yourself or your children in danger.

Immediate danger? Call 911

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you can take your children, get in the car, and drive somewhere safe, do that.

You can drive to the police station or a hotel room if it is secure and you can pay for it, or you can go to a family member’s home if it is a safe place for you. The point is that you cannot risk your life or that of your children under any circumstances.

Divorce process and finances

Now, once you are out and get an attorney, someone, whether it is you, your attorney, or a process server, can notify your spouse of your intent to divorce.

Spousal and child support

Depending on their response and reaction, many things can happen. However, some things are common scenarios that occur more frequently. For example, suppose you are not working outside the home and are raising your children. In that case, you may qualify for spousal support or alimony.

Your spouse does not have to agree; the court can order him to pay. In addition, if you are the primary parental figure in the children’s lives, the court might want it to stay that way, which means that you will also receive child support to help you with the finances associated with raising your children.

Dividing your property and assets

Depending on where you live, the court may divide marital assets a certain way. Your attorney is the most qualified person to explain how this works.

However, suppose you have been married for a certain amount of time. In that case, anything accrued, created, or purchased within that time belongs to both of you.

Moving on with your life

Once the attorneys settle the divorce, you can think about what you want to do about employment, if you wish to return to work, whether you have to, and how you make that work with your children, which is likely to depend on their ages.

It is critical to mention that during this entire process, seek emotional support from a trained therapist or psychiatrist who can help you feel your best. Divorce is a difficult time, and abuse only makes it worse.

Have a safety plan

If violence was part of your marriage, you should always remain alert for your safety and that of your children. Spouses can feel bad when they go to court and keep information about the abuse to themselves, sometimes out of shame, guilt, or a reluctance to indirectly hurt the children.

However, your life can be at stake, which is not a joke. Your children’s lives are not a joke. Indeed, it is critical to gather as much evidence as possible and present it to the court so someone can protect you if your spouse attempts to harm you or your children. Stay safe, ensure you get the best help you can and know that even though this time is dark, you will rise again.