When you file for divorce against a narcissist, you can expect the fireworks that follow. Narcissists gain power using manipulation and gaslighting techniques to effectively squelch any resistance from their spouse.
Filing for divorce from a narcissist upsets their carefully composed lives. Here’s what you need to know.
Expect delays and expenses
Narcissists tend to max out their legal fees in divorce actions because they use any interactions with their former partners to delay the divorce process. Tactics they employ include avoiding service of process, switching lawyers before court dates (which must then be postponed until the new attorney gets “up to speed” with the case. It’s frustrating and expensive.
Plan your exit meticulously
Before pulling the trigger on your marriage and filing for divorce from a narcissist, first gather and preserve any evidence from the marriage. If you are the one moving out of the family home, expect your access to financial and legal documents like tax returns and banking records to be cut off. That’s why it’s so important to have your ducks in line before making your move.
Keep a log or journal of interactions
Jot down any contemporaneous observations of your ex’s actions or failures to abide by current custody plans. Note any deviations from drop-off and pick-up times, if your co-parent appeared under the influence or in a rage during the brief interaction.
Keep the kids’ wellbeing paramount
Don’t allow your children to become your co-parent’s pawns. Did you know that you can request that the court appoint an attorney who focuses solely on their interests? Forensic psychologists, too, may be court-ordered to evaluate your kids and assess their needs.
Let the court see you as the responsible, loving and law-abiding person you truly are. The judge will compare and contrast your actions with those of your co-parent, so you want to remain on the side of the angels.
